Illinois River lockdown

Day 2 on lockdown (June 12, 2007)

We are still on lockdown and they have compiled a list of industry workers who will be going to work (two 12 hour shifts) consisting of the first and third shift workers. I am not on the list because I am on second shift. My cellie is on the list and he'll be going to work from 6.00 a.m. to 6.00 p.m. I can really relax now and get some work down because I'll have the cell to myself.

Most prisoners look at alone time as a time to sexually gratify themselves. I don't know if you can consider this abnormal behavior under the circumstances but there is so much more than one can be doing.
So I started writing my letters. I've typed seven letters, some personal and some legal. I took my time because I was listening to some soothing music (Al Jarreau - best of). I can live without my tv but I don't think I can do without some sounds. I even went through my address book and wrote some people I have not heard from in years. They may not write back and most of the time I don't expect them to. I write to feel free. In prison there is something very special about mail (receiving more than sending). It gives you the visceral feeling that you are connected with the outside world.

Around 3.00 p.m. I stopped writing and washed up. All you can do on lock down is take a bird bath in your sink. It is hot so I have to do this a minimum of twice a day (sometimes three times). This is the only way you can maintain proper hygiene.

Aster I washed up, I fixed me a cup mixed with cappucino. I can't drink black coffee to save my life. I either have to have coffee creamers or cappucino. I never smoked so I guedd I deserve to have a little indulgence.

I planned to watch tv but after flicking through the channels there is nothing on - except same ole same ole. The Iraq war news, reality shows, Law & Order. So I decided to go through my old pictures. I have over 400 pictures. As I look through them, I think about how long I've been locked up. I come to my grandmother's pictures. She passed away in 1998. That was a very low point in my incarceration. Damn, I miss her so much. I often pretend she is watching me especially when I struggle with making a bad decision as opposed to doing the right thing - she never steered me wrong.

I end the day in deep thought and read my philosophy book until I fall asleep. Maybe we'll get off tomorrow.